its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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