I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
