Where are you?
In a non slutty way
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I understand Curling. That high.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
