Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
