Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
