Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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