This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
