I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
