dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
