You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I understand Curling. That high.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
