Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
