So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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