and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Dicks are not precious.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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