Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
