I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
