worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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