Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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