How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
