i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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