i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
