Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Slut skills are useful in every country.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
