In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
