I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
