I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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