Already got asked if we're dating
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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