if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
