oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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