I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
