I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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