so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
He is an equal opportunity slut.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
