yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
