I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
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