I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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