Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
