I cockslap morals
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
This is the high leading the old right now
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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