Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
