Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
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