my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
