god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
