maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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