Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
