Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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