The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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