i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Still dying that you shit outside
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
