Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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