My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
