I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
