uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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