Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
