I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
