Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
