Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
