im having a threesome with these popsicles
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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