My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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