My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
